Everyone seeks knowledge, that is the facts, information, and skills acquired through experience or education. Knowledge is what empowers us, but after deeper inspection it may also seize something from us. Something neglected, innocent but more importantly unrecoverable, and that is the joy of not knowing.

Experiences gives us most of our knowledge in life. We experience, learn and ultimately improve. It’s how humans operate, but what we loose in the process is our initial innocence. We will never experience anything for the first time twice. The first time you saw your best friend, the first time you read your favorite book or the first time you traveled alone. What knowledge seeks from us, is ignorance, our blissful ignorance. Gaining an understanding about anything takes that initial unknowingness which may have been the hurdle in the moment, but which will undoubtedly change into a memory miles down.

Education aims to fill in the gaps left by experience. Though more specific and tailored to each individual, it too robs us of the joy of not knowing. Love movies? Learn film making and you’ll not see movies the same again. Love music? Learning it will inform you of every tone change instead of focusing on the melodies. Knowledge peels back the curtain which can never be shut again. This may not be the biggest heist, but it is still a theft nonetheless.

Getting down from my high horse, knowledge may take the innocence from things, but we know it provides something more meaningful in return, that is the pure pleasure of understanding something to the core. Forming a life-long bond with someone, understanding the intent behind every frame of your favorite movie or developing the confidence to be fully independent, are ways in which knowledge provides back. Or simply put, I like to believe for the width knowledge takes, it provides in depth.

This post The Curse Of Knowledge first appeared on R1CHU and is written by R1CHU

Artificial Intelligence or AI is everywhere. You hear and see the word AI almost every single day. From mundane tasks to the creative, the list of things the power of AI can do goes on and on, and is too big for even me to comprehend. It’s quite fascinating actually, human made software mimicking human behavior. It invokes an image of a dystopian future, but what it brings in actuality is yet to be seen.

The evolution of AI far exceeds a single sector, industry of even medium. The idea of intelligent machines started way back in the 1950’s and it is believed to have not yet fully blossomed. But over the past couple of years AI has quickly picked up steam and has seen mainstream acceptance. AI has shown its competence in mundane tasks such as AI traffic cameras, support bots, recommendation, monitoring system, but more interestingly shown extraordinary abilities in creative ones like animation, art, voice acting and more. Un-surprisingly it has also been an area of concern among different professions, especially the creative one that outright opposes AI generated media, questioning the legal and humane aspect of it as a whole.

I believe AI will change many things, but it will not replace everyone out right. Just like when the Internet went mainstream and many lost their jobs in sectors like, post offices, physical paper printing, and many other middle men. It also gave rise to many such jobs alike on the internet. Likewise, I believe the change AI is about to unleash will certainly shake certain sectors, maybe even destroy a few, but it will also give rise to many other undiscovered opportunities. Is this good or bad? Legal or illegal? Humane or inhumane? Is something to debate over.

AI is inevitable. Speaking against the evolution of AI is futile, just as it was like speaking against the widespread adoption of the internet back in the day. But what can be done is the proper legislation against its use. Creating false identities, misusing photos of people, unauthorized use of art, voice samples and more to create models (datasets), are some areas that need proper attention as this phase of its evolution, so that those involved are properly compensated. I also like to believe, just as we still paint when we could just take a picture, I’m certain we will still do these creative actions when there is an alternative, but to what extend is still to be seen. Nonetheless, I’m certain its ripples will be far greater than the Internet.

This post AI Is The Next Internet first appeared on R1CHU and is written by R1CHU

The “Before” trilogy is a landmark in cinema. Directed by Richard Linklater, each movie was released 9 years apart, following up on the previous one. Each one shows how love evolves between two people along their relationship in real time. Objectively all three movies are well shot with great acting and an amazing script. To put it simply, all 3 movies are simply a collection of conversations with topics ranging from the ambiguous to the intimate. It’s like being left alone with two intimate strangers, not knowing the prologue or the epilogue to their life, and the only thing accessible being the conversation at present.

Before Sunrise (1985) shows the innocence of love. The fruits of the romanticism era, were themes like fate, soul mates and meant for each other are the most ripest. People reminisce of this phase of love the most. The time where adulthood was just around the horizon, when life seemed simpler and people less complex. We’ve all been there, when everything is a first, crush, love, kiss and more. We didn’t care about anything else, we were in a world created solely by the fondness for each other. This movie is that fraction of our life in a beautifully shot, well written and acted piece of media.

Before Sunset (2004) is where reality sets in, but still there’s hope for what could have been. This is my favorite movie as this is where my life resides at the moment. You understand that just appreciating each others beauty isn’t enough for what you desire. You long for someone to fully understand you and all your complexities. It is thus easy to feel overly attached to the ones that do. You start to see the parameters of what a real relationship entails, all the while understanding which parameters you value. The movie is more hopeful than real life, maybe that’s why I loved it, because it gave me something than I know I won’t get in real life.

Before Midnight (2013) is where everyone will eventually end up. Humans are social beings, but at the end of the day, we exist alone. We will have our own opinions, thoughts, likes-dislikes and thousand other factors that prove unchangeable even in the presence of another human. This movie shows a fraction of that hardship, the reality of tolerating the human you promised to share a life with. I wish there was a prettier picture to paint, but seeing this movie, comparing it to others who have been married for more than my age including my parents, I understand it’s more tolerating than anything else. Showing a blind eye, loving the little things, appreciating the good and downplaying the tolerable is what every lasting relationship ends up to be.

This post Lessons About Love From The Before Trilogy first appeared on R1CHU and is written by R1CHU

I was watching Freaks and Geeks for the first time recently while I was also reading the book “How to overcome your childhood” by The School of Life. I wasn’t thinking of correlating the two in any way, but when I stumbled upon the chapter “The Golden Child Syndrome“, I couldn’t but correlate the two because it made perfect sense. It was a happy coincidence which I will use to explain one of the most revolutionary things personally, I’ve read in my entire life.

The show as a whole is great with thoughtful characters, funny moments and an all rounded fantastic cast. But I’m not here to explain the show, I’m more interested in the motives of the main character. Lindsay Weir is a straight A student who decides she is too good for her own good and decides to take her life into her own hands and be everything she once thought never to be. This is proven throughout the show through her various actions, but I’m interested more on the motive than the outcome.

The Golden Child Syndrome is a syndrome where a child is expected to be extraordinary at everything, not make mistakes, and essentially be “perfect”. But from the child’s perspective, the child is unable to sense any resources or talent within itself to honor the hopes of those it loves and depends on, the child grows up with a latent sense of fraudulence – and a consistent fear that it will be unmasked. This leads the child in a constant loop of reaching for bigger goals never really being satisfied with any achievements, yet striving for more. Even when the people who saw the child as perfect is satisfied or long gone, the child keeps trying to impress, without knowing for who.

Personally, me and Lindsay Weir are on the same boat. We both are the Golden child in our parent’s eye, we both feel un-satisfied with our achievements and we both are on the verge of a breakdown. She has hers at the start of the show and the entire show revolves around that. I had mine this year, which led to a lot of questioning regarding my personal identity. I didn’t know who I was apart from the achievements I’d gathered. I was a painting painted by other artists, and wanted to figure out who I really was. It made me want to do everything I wasn’t. Everything I once looked over started seeming like the possible me. This can be tragic in one’s eye, but it was eye opening for me. The understanding that I am not bound by the expectations set by my parents is a constant one, but one I’m glad I got to know of.

This post Freaks and Geeks & The Golden Child Syndrome first appeared on R1CHU and is written by R1CHU

I’ve been living through my to-do list for the past year, or I hope it’s only been that long. Everything I do is on “the list”, my list, yet not really mine. Whenever anything I want to do comes up in my head, I write it down on my to-do list. It’s synced with my phone and PC, so it’s always right in front of me, daring me to cross it off. It doesn’t matter how small or inconsequential it is, if I need to do it it goes on the list. This has been my routine for the past year or so.

I had something to do every free second. I know for some this might sound like a nightmare, but I was actually loving it. I was at my most productive phase, where nothing could go past me without me making the best of it. You know how when you do something productive and you feel like you’re getting ahead and beating life? Well that was me everyday. It was a high like none other. But like always, I took it too far.

Why be so productive? So that you can enjoy your free time stress free right? Well that is what I had hoped as well, but it turned out contradictory. Whenever I got free time, instead of enjoying the time doing something I loved, I was indecisive, glued to the predefined to-do list. It’s a weird state of unknowingness where you’re unable to act in the present as you have become chained to the tasks set by your past, or the lack of. When the to-do list was empty, I felt empty as well. So to cope I set tasks for the future. It’s a vicious cycle. One with productivity to gain and joy to loss.

I wish I had an immediate solution for this that I could show off right now. I wish I could have gloated over my triumph but as with everything, the answer is a work in progress. The unknown gray zone of balance between “things you have to do” and “things you want to do” is the answer. Having structure in one’s life, yet not always sticking with a plan is a skill I wish to acquire in this sooner, rather than later. Funnily the lesson my to-do taught me was it’s sometimes necessary to not do something and just waste time.

This post Living Life Through A To-Do List first appeared on R1CHU and is written by R1CHU

Video games seem to get the most bad press among all the entertainment medias. Not films, not TV shows, not books, but video games are seen as the black sheep among the flock. Maybe it’s because video games are still an infant compared to other entertainment mediums or maybe it’s the interactive aspect of gaming that crosses the line. Whatever it might be, I believe there’s a better balanced way to look at this.

You can never generalize entertainment media. It’s so vast and diverse that labeling it good or bad, based solely on your experience or by judging a small portion of it, is narrow minded and ignorant. All media is a double edged sword, and it depends on the wielder. The message a piece of media conveys can lie anywhere from good/positive, harmful/negative or it can even be open for interpretation. The first 2 are obvious, but the third is a bit muddy. For example, a movie like “Taxi Driver” can teach you about mental health and the dangers of loneliness, or it can either teach you to be a psycho. Labeling media based on the consumer’s interpretation shouldn’t be the standard to judge it by, nor should misguiding media be encouraged. It is a blurred line, which we as a community need to address.

Gaming, like its peers, has the power to change one’s opinion and introduce new thoughts, for better or worse. On top of this shared quality, gaming has the added advantage of being interactive. This is what separated gaming from the pack. You are in control. You are the one who clicks, and you are the one that does the action. On one hand, this exponentially increases our immersion and teaches its lesson in a profoundly intimate way. On the other, this is the reason the media believes video games make us psychotic killers. Yes, there are many violent games, but multiple studies have shown this is not related to real life crime and inadvertently acts as a stress relieving mechanism. But I understand how consuming such media can affect a feeble mind, as it tends to desensitize us to these acts.

Video games aren’t perfect, none of the media are. There are many serious problems that need to be addressed like addiction, gambling, social disconnection and needs proper attention and care put into the development for battling these crippling obstacles. But there’s also the side of gaming that showcases stories and viewpoints that changes ones life forever. Gaming has a long way to go, and some major problems to fix. But I have hope for this medium and the communities behind it, and maybe one day, we will look back on this generation of games as one looks back on the infancy of movies and books.

This post The Case Against Video Games first appeared on R1CHU and is written by R1CHU

You are not just who you think you are. Your present habits, ideology and personality traits take the spotlight because they are the only things that are immediately visible. “Who we are” is the combination of “who we were”. Our past beliefs, habits, decisions and experiences never really disappear and live inside each of us, slumbering. Good or bad, desperate to be forgotten or yearning to be re-lived, seemingly washed away by the currents of time, still living in the shadows within.

You’ll change, your best friend will change, even your parents whom you’ve known your entire life is bound to some change. Sometimes it’s neither good or bad, it just is. But that doesn’t mean they’ve turned into someone completely different. They are still the same goofy, kind and thoughtful person you once knew and loved, they’ve just added a few layers on top of who they once were. This ability to change and adapt to our environment is what made us the dominant species on this earth throughout evolution, and what will continue to.

Never be embarrassed of the person you once were, because like it or not, you’re still that same person, just with a new layer on top. We will always live in the shadows of our former self, haunted by our past mistakes and envious of our past memories. So be proud of your past. Learn to appreciate your stupid mistakes, and be thankful for those happy moments. They will always be within you and that’s what makes each of us unique. There’s also the fundamental core layer that every human shares. The need for attention, care and love, feeling anger, jealousy and fear, being alien to the outside world trying to make sense of everything and one-self. These are primordial feelings that are out of our conscious control.

There are times when you can actually feel the change taking over you. It may be because this change comes from conscious effort, or it may surprise you completely because it was a result of your surroundings and other factors. If the change is for the better embrace it, if it is for the worse nip in the bud, if it is just change let it be. There’s also the people around you who love and care for you, who has to see and accept this change. It will be hard, but they have to make space for the new you inside the bubble that they’ve defined you in. It’s their internal conflict, not yours. If someone really cares for you, they’ll accept you for you because they know, the layer they love is still within.

This post Imagine Yourself In Layers first appeared on R1CHU and is written by R1CHU

I have so much to-do, yet so little time. I feel death coming a step closer, each time I blow that candle off my cake. Then I look at my parents, and I see eyes filled with time. They have all the time in the world, yet they are 40 years ahead of me. Why am I behind them, yet feel ahead? This disconcerting question is what this film portrayed using a simple metaphor, one which I still think about.

Around 55:20 mins in the film, Mick Boyle played by Harvey Keitel hikes up a mountain with his screenplay actors who are youngsters, probably in their late twenties. At the top, he points to a telescope and tells them to view the mountain through it. They see the mountain up close, filling the entire frame with grandness. He says, “this is how young people view their life”. He then flips the telescope around and tells them to view the mountain again, this time, everything is stretched and far away; “this is how I see my life”.

The first scene shows how youngsters, including me sees life as a short burst, with limited time and limitless activities. We get so caught up, trying to do everything before our demise that we forget the miles in between. But when he flips it around, the image is a long stretch, implying the sufficient time he and others, including my parents, sees in their life. They know life is not a sprint, but a long mundane marathon, with sufficient time to make mistakes and learn to live with them.

The film doesn’t explain any of this of course, or even comment at it in the future. This is just a filler scene in-between, that simply states this fact and makes us do the introspection. For some reason, this hit me on a deep level. I’m chasing this high, doing everything at once, biting more than I can chew and pushing life back. But that’s the exact opposite, this film teaches you. You can’t push life back, you can only allow it to flow. For me, the film is ultimately about letting life win, which is evident by the ending. Accepting that life will never go the route you planned and it’s better to let life take it’s course, than trying to derail it to your liking. Even though these are my words, I still haven’t truly internalized them. I guess this is one of those things, that I can’t truly take in, until I’m older.

This post Youth (2015) – That One Scene first appeared on R1CHU and is written by R1CHU

It was a pleasant day, sunny outside, hot air blowing into my room. I was lying diagonally in my bed, one leg dangling at the corner, watching the blades of my ceiling fan move out of my vision, one after another. Many things yearned my attention. I could read a book, play a game, watch a movie, or even go for a walk. I was looking forward to this day, but maybe I woke up on the wrong side of bed, or maybe I envisioned this day differently. No matter, I was frozen, engulfed in my own thoughts of nothingness. Bad thoughts, good thoughts, weird thoughts, all mixed into one. I wanted to bury myself into a burrow and wake up again on the same day. Alas, there I lie, watching my ceiling fan.

This feeling of being sucked out from my own body, just to watch myself in third person as I lie in bed, was an undesired feeling that materialized only in the past few years. What gave birth to this abomination? I’m not really sure. It might have been the growing responsibilities of adulthood and will pass as I get older, or maybe it was this new lone wolf facade that I so proudly wear and will pass after I build new relationships, or maybe I always felt like this at times, and I just didn’t know the words to express it and is something I have to learn to live with.

It still feels weird saying I have anxiety. Maybe it’s because I’m self diagnosed and a part of me feels like I’m lying to myself for attention. I’m certain it’s not just overthinking as I also know what that feels like. Everyone feels anxious I know, but I have “bad anxiety”, the thing that’s hard to explain. Perhaps I lie somewhere along the anxiety spectrum or maybe this is something completely different. Nevertheless, I use the word “anxiety”, as it’s the only word that kind of encapsulates my feelings, and it also inadvertently puts me at ease because of the false feeling of control.

The cause and complexities regarding my anxiety is for my future therapist to solve. All I can do right now is cope with it. As I see it, a bad day, so that a good day can follow. I don’t know why I’m writing this blog, as I don’t know what I’m trying to convey with this. Maybe I just wanted to get this out of my chest or maybe I’m writing this to let others on the same boat, know they’re not alone. That, it’s okay to feel these things, to not have an answer and to feel nothing and everything at the same time. I don’t have an answer but just know you’re not alone, as I’m not alone.

This post Anxiety first appeared on R1CHU and is written by R1CHU

I had previously only seen 2 of his films, and thought they were good, but didn’t think much of it. This was due to my lack of appreciation for the art that goes behind these films and my inability to see these in a critical eye. I have improved, but not mastered these skill. Yet, I decided it was high time I take the time to watch all his movies in the order it came out and understand why he is so well praised in the anime community.

Nausicaa Of The Valley Of The Wind (1984) grabbed my attention within the first few shots. Beautiful yet un-nerving. You don’t get an exposition dumb explaining where or when you are, but the films makes you wonder. You can see a lot of common threads in all his movies. One such being the weird mix between advanced aircraft, historic weapons and nature spirits. The hand drawn animation is amazing and each frame is wallpaper material. This is also a trait which continued till his last movie, and one which I will be praising often.

Castle in the Skies (1986) starts off hectic and flaunts the amazing animation skills of its animators. This movie takes a departure from the very serious tone of Nausicaa to a goofy and unrealistic tone, which still works. Unfortunately, the movie slows down from the mid way point and doesn’t reach the bombastic heights of its first half.

My Fried Totoro (1988) is probably one of the most beloved Ghibli movies, second only to Spirited Away. The film takes a step back in its grand animation pieces, instead focusing on the mundane. This is by no extent a flaw, but what I enjoyed most about the movie. It takes so much care in showing off the authentic Japanese lifestyle from the littlest of actions. I couldn’t help but have a smile on my face throughout the film.

Kiki’s Delivery Service (1989) had more to say but settled for less. I was drawn to the premise from the start, a coming of age story about a witch, who has to move out of her house and find her identity. The movie itself is great in terms of animation and story, but even when the credits rolled, I wanted more from this world. More about witches, this world, her delivery business, the forest painter and more.

Proco Rosso (1992) was something I vaguely remembered because I had watched it, years back. I wasn’t fond of it the first time and I’m an idiot for that. This film has a lot going for it, like its great animation, underlying theme about love and war and its witty and sharp writing, which has some of the most memorable dialogues in a Ghibli movie. This movie also has one of my favorite endings among all his works, which I’m obviously not going to spoil here.

Princess Mononoke (1997) is my favorite from the bunch. It has a similar gritty tone as Nausicaa and it isn’t afraid to show some blood and guts, which I respect. The animation feels different somehow, but as always, is great. I love the characters, as each has their own motive and reasons. The strong female leads are here as well, like in all of Hayao Miyazaki’s movies, which I can’t get enough of.  

Spirited Away (2001) is his magnum opus. The animation is the best among all his movies and I can’t imagine the time and effort it took for them to create this spectacle. The whole setting is so weird, so odd. All the creatures, how they act, how they move about, the film doesn’t waste time explaining them, but just, lets us witness it. There are probably many Japanese beliefs and traditions that completely blew past my head, which is another reason why this movie is so re-watchable.

Howl’s Moving Castle (2004) was my least favorite among all his works. I wasn’t motivated by Sophie’s journey, as she was in no hurry to lift her curse which totally ruined the pacing for me. Even Howl’s character seemed inconsistent, which made me unsympathetic towards him. Miyazaki also started using 3D animations in a lot of his shots for this movie, which was a departure from the fully hand drawn 2D art of his previous movies.

Ponyo (2008) is a weird movie when you look at it with adult eyes, but a cute wholesome movie when you view it with kids eyes. At first glance, you might be made to believe this wasn’t a Ghibli movie, as it looks completely different. Simple environment and character design, instead of heavily detailed ones, flat colors, instead of detailed shading and very simple dialogues. I don’t want to judge this the same way I judged the other movies, as it’s obviously aimed for a very, very young audience. Therefore, I’ll let it slide.

The Wind Rises (2013) was a surprise. After the first 10 minutes, I thought it would be a slog but then out of nowhere the earthquake scene happened and it pulled me right in. I was really surprised by how much everything felt real, and to my surprise, this is true because it is a fictionalized biographical of its main character Jiro. I was put off by this at first, since I didn’t know how much of this was real and how much fiction. But keeping that thought aside, the movie is actually great with themes of passion, political power struggle, respectful friendship and mature love. I really liked it, and wouldn’t mind giving it another watch.

You can clearly distinguish Hayao Miyazak’s work by his love for traditional Japanese lifestyle and beliefs, his love for animating clouds and planes, his views on war and nature and his appreciation for strong female leads, which is bundled with great animation, good human values, an awesome soundtrack and a promised happy ending. Like that, 10 movies and an appreciation for 2D animation and Hayao Miyazaki later, I’m happy to say, these are some of the best anime movies you can watch, and I’m glad I spent my time with each.

This post Reviewing Every Hayao Miyazaki Film first appeared on R1CHU and is written by R1CHU